There are a lot of improbable and unwinnable battles that get won anyway. From there (and granted, before then), things unroll as one might expect: the monsters cause the guardians of the Wall a good deal of trouble. And guess what? Damon and Pascal have arrived at a super choice moment. These alien monsters, which are vaguely referenced as representing human greed, hibernate for sixty years between assaults on the Great Wall (and whatever else they can find). Pascal doesn’t exhibit quite have the same levels of godlike charisma he was rocking as Prince Oberyn of Dorne, but he’s one of those actors who is watchable in anything, and this movie proves it.) (Oh, if you’re noticing weird parallels to Game of Thrones, what with the army of death marching on The Wall and Pedro Pascal making pithy quips and whatnot? It’s not just you. William brings its severed limb to the Wall, and discovers that the army who guard it are all too clear on what attacked them. On the run from some hill tribe types, the two find themselves hunted in the dark by a monster-beastie of unknown provenance. William (Matt Damon) is a badass archer, and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) is a pretty dab hand with a blade. Hang onto your hats, fellas-they are Westerners. In it, two mercenary types are pulling some kind of Treasure of the Sierra Madre deal in the deserts north of the Great Wall, seeking gunpowder. Plus, it diverts attention from the much more serious problem: The Great Wall is a dumb film. And if it’s not insulting to level that particular accusation at the director of Red Sorghum and Raise the Red Lantern, it’s at least pretty arrogant and tacky. Obviously, “whitewashing” exists-this just isn’t an example of it. They get to make whatever film they want, even if it is in most ways a lame one. These people get to work together if they want to. Rather, he got the opportunity to direct a big-budget blockbuster, and he took it. You’re seriously going to tell that guy he’s demeaning his own culture? Zhang Yimou doesn’t need Matt Damon to save his movie, his career or Medieval-ish China. China has submitted eight of this guy’s movies as their entry in the Academy Awards’ Best Foreign Film category, and he’s been nominated three times. He’s directed a large number of award-winning films, many of them about the resilience of Chinese people and culture.
And no, that’s not traditional matriculation age for that program: Zhang was a bit held up because he was serving as a farm laborer and textile worker during the Cultural Revolution, and the Academy was shuttered. He got his start after entering the photography program at Beijing Film Academy at the age of 27. Zhang Yimou, a lauded and celebrated auteur who has never made an American film before, has been directing since the late ’80s. People who are crapping on The Great Wall for “whitewashing” have massively got the wrong end of the stick. Before proceeding to the review portion of the program, let’s get one thing out of the way.